A Woman’s Point of View on Pornography Addiction
The road of pornography addiction is never an easy one. Pornography addiction is an embarrassing addiction, too. In my experience, pornography was a byproduct of another root addiction in my life. This applies to most people. Pornography was always something that I felt like I could keep to myself and never disclose. It was always something that was easy to hide, but I could never hide it from myself or from God. Many people in my life had influenced the thought, “It’s not hurting anyone,” when in fact pornography hurts everyone that you have a direct contact with in your life.
My first exposure to pornography was when I was four years old. I snuck out of my room to find out what my parents were watching. I sat between the recliner and the wall in a place where I knew that my parents couldn’t find me and I watched. I later found a sexually graphic book in my father’s belongings. All I had to read was the title of the book to understand the nature of it.
When my need for pornography became stronger, I realized that the more and more I allowed myself to view pornographic images, the more that those images became more explicit. I will never be able to remove those images from my memory. A movie is unrealistic, but seeing those images would challenge me to act out those scenes and some, unfortunately, I have. How dangerous that would have been if I had done all of those things.
In the past, I knew many women who openly enjoyed pornographic movies. One woman ended up being promiscuous by having a new man every night of the week, two were exotic dancers, and one had an open relationship with a married man. These four women influenced me over a period of my life and I ended friendships with each of them because of what their character represented. I didn’t want to mirror them, their actions, or their situations. Again, all these experiences were a direct effect from pornography.
Over the years I have learned that women yearn to receive more respect than what is given to them in a pornographic magazine or movie. Women aren’t trash. There is a lovely beauty that comes from a woman when she doesn’t allow herself to be treated like a piece of meat. Every man does want a woman that obtains dignity and purity. Every man desires a woman who can respect and enjoy the natural and intended aspect of sex. There is a pure sex that happens in a heterosexual relationship in a marriage. It’s not necessary for a married couple to watch pornography. It’s wrong for a married couple to watch pornography because it sets up false expectations in their sexual relationship. If you are a married couple, take this into consideration. Your wife is not that woman and your husband is not that man in a pornographic movie. Don’t bring in others into your bedroom. Keep your marriage sacred. You are privileged to have a mate for life. Honor and respect your commitment to them and expect them to honor and respect their commitment to you.
I now challenge myself to stay away from even being close to seeing anything that could be pornographic. I stay away from books, magazines, and movies that have anything that could even be ‘soft’ pornography. Companies like Abercrombie and Fitch have done a great job of sugar coating the very real. Pornography is pornography, soft or hard core. The internet is always an easy and direct highway for these images, so I have a program on my computer system that holds me accountable to not seeing images or being able search for them. Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” By accepting pornography, I would be conforming to what the world expects of me.
Addiction is something that you always deal with. You may never have a relapse, but it will always be a temptation. I think that the one thing that reminds me of why I should not be doing it is that sick to my stomach feeling that I get after I have watched or looked at images. I am reminded of the void and the loneliness that pornography causes. I see the people around me that would be affected by even that minute that I take to look at a graphic picture in a magazine or on the internet. I am also reminded that if it doesn’t make me grow in my relationship with God, it separates me from Him. This is the very thing that I don’t want if I am striving to live a life for Him.
I want to close by saying that I know that I am not the only woman who has dealt with pornography addiction. If you feel that you are addicted in some way to pornography, seek a Godly woman that you could approach on this sensitive subject. Contact a ministry that could suggest book resources for you to help you overcome and break this addiction. Women involved in pornography addiction have become a growing trend. Don’t allow yourself to be a statistic. Had I known that pornography would consume me as much as it has, I would have taken the appropriate steps to resolve this addiction sooner. Thankfully, we serve an unconditional, thoroughly caring and loving God that will forgive us as we are. He could do the same for you if you allow Him to.
— A member of Journey Christian Church